Sunday, April 8, 2007

It is hard to find the time and subject matter to post. This is funny to me because I certainly can find the subject matter to babble about on other blogs. Anyway, here is a story of my life as a zookeeper.

A week ago this Thursday, I went to the doctor. My friend's wife is my doctor and a total sweetie. This combined with the fact that she has broken her knee and can't lift it, make her totally vulnerable. She always hugs me when she sees me. Then, there is the mention of a favor that her hubby (the coward) wants her to ask me and she totally feels bad b/c it is the last minute etc. They are apparently going to Hilton Head for Spring Break and the hubby forgot to arrange care for the new puppy and ancient dog. It is too late to get a kennel and hubby said I would probably be happy to do it. You know, I have no life b/c I am single. Forget the two jobs etc. I could not tell her no, something I have been working on since.

Leading up to this catastrophe, my friend continued to harass me about how I needed to be there with the pets and not working all the time or at the gym. He even told me I could just workout on their treadmill. I have been to the house before to watch his daughters so I was aware that they are not the anal retentive housekeeper that I am. What however, they failed to mention is that the dogs poop on the floor, sometimes several times a day. There also doesn't appear to be anything to clean it up with. I hate cats and am allergic. There are two.... and a rabbit... and a coop full of chickens that need to be fed and eggs picked up. Did I mention, I am not an animal person? Also, the eggs need to be washed so you get all the poo off before they can go in the fridge. I have given up eating eggs.

I am exhausted and repulsed. The good news is I am too grossed out to eat so this gig is great for my diet. The house smells like a dog/rabbit/cat and I have almost used a bottle of febreze. I keep spraying my caramel room freshener in my room but I set of the smoke detector last night with it.

Here is the thing, my friend knows me and I have no doubt that he is sitting in the sun, laughing his twisted head off about me, city girl and slave to shopping, cleaning up animal poo. There better be a big cash payoff. This is hard work and my schedule is rearranged. I need to work out but the treadmill is in the basement which smells of animal feces. Meanwhile, my apt got cleaned in the middle of all this and I yearn for it. Eight days of this nightmare.

Last night I went to the local bar to eat, totally oblivious to the fact that I was there alone, just happy to have food, beer, music, and strangers to talk to. I would love to write more but I must feed the chickens and eradicate poo from the eggs.